October 14 2025 at 12:00AM
Turning Tension into Trust
On Tuesday, October 14, 2025, PMI Orange County welcomed Carolyn Ortman, speaker, coach, and communication consultant, for the keynote presentation “Turning Tension into Trust: Practical Conflict Resolution for Project Managers.”
Ortman’s engaging and grounded session reminded project managers that conflict isn’t a distraction from the work, it is part of the work. Drawing on decades of communication and leadership experience, she outlined practical ways to manage tension, strengthen trust, and improve collaboration across teams.
Why conflict matters
Ortman began by reframing how we think about conflict. It’s not necessarily a sign that something is wrong, it’s often a sign that people care. But unresolved or mishandled conflict can easily slow projects down.
She encouraged project managers to look beneath the surface. Many workplace conflicts trace back to common roots: unclear roles, competing priorities, uneven workloads, or past misunderstandings. When we take time to identify the real source of friction, we’re far better positioned to resolve it constructively.
Communication that builds bridges
At the heart of conflict resolution is communication. Ortman walked through several strategies that turn potential flashpoints into opportunities for understanding.
Listen to understand. Quoting Stephen Covey’s classic advice “Seek first to understand, then to be understood,” Ortman reminded us that most people listen to reply, not to understand. Her advice: stay present, listen with empathy, and paraphrase what you’ve heard before responding.
Pay attention to body language. Nonverbal cues often speak louder than words. Our tone, posture, and facial expressions can either create safety or raise defenses. Conscious awareness of these signals helps keep conversations productive.
Be clear and assertive. Ortman shared a simple framework for giving feedback: the FIRR method (Fact, Impact, Request, Respect). By sticking to observable facts, explaining their impact, and making a respectful request, project managers can address issues without triggering defensiveness.
Emotional intelligence in action
Conflict management also demands emotional intelligence, which is the ability to stay calm under pressure and read the emotions in the room. Ortman outlined a practical three-step model for reframing difficult moments:
- Pause — Notice your reaction and emotions.
- Pivot — Shift from emotion to intention; ask what the other person truly needs.
- Propose — Offer a next step that moves the conversation forward.
Used consistently, this simple sequence transforms heated exchanges into moments of clarity and progress.
The trust dividend
Ortman tied it all together with a message about trust. High-trust teams handle disagreement with speed and honesty. Low-trust teams stall in silence or defensiveness. Building trust, she said, comes down to a series of small, consistent behaviors: keeping commitments, being transparent, and following through.
She closed with a reminder borrowed from Ernest Hemingway: “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” It was a fitting close to a talk that blended insight, humor, and actionable strategies.
Key takeaways
- Conflict is inevitable. Avoidance isn’t a strategy.
- Listen with empathy and intention.
- Use the FIRR model to keep feedback focused and respectful.
- Reframe conflict with Pause–Pivot–Propose.
- Build trust one consistent action at a time.
Carolyn Ortman’s keynote was a timely reminder that conflict, handled well, can strengthen teams and projects alike. Her session gave PMI-OC members practical tools they could put to use right away to turn tension into trust, one conversation at a time.
